Salt Bae Runs Out of Salt

Salt Bae has run out of salt. The Turkish chef and butcher - famous for his theatrical salt-sprinkling routine at his worldwide chain of Nusr-Et luxury steak houses - has allegedly been hit by supply chain shortages and skyrocketing prices, and has been unable to source fresh supplies of the condiment that made his name. 

The restaurateur, real name Nusret Gökçe, has served many rich and famous guests, from Leonardo DiCaprio to Naomi Campbell. His ostentatious salt distribution method became an internet meme, but there are rumours that his sodium-based shenanigans will now cease. He may even have to shorten his nickname to ‘Bae’. 

“The days of lavish salt sprinkling are over,” said a source close to the restaurant. “Nusret has experimented with other flavour enhancers, but as far as nicknames go ‘Monosodium Glutamate Bae’ is a bit of a mouthful.”

With liberal salt scattering now out of the question at Nusr-Et, management are considering rationing any remaining salt for certain high-level VIP guests, according to the source. “Top celebs won’t be happy without an elaborate sprinkle. If Will Smith rocks up and there's no salt, things could get ugly.” 

Also on the list of alternatives to salt is cheese, but it might only be available for sprinkling in the US as inflation soars. “In Europe cheese is a complex, nuanced and valuable commodity,” said the source. “In America it’s just yellow stuff you put on meat. He can afford that.”  

Salt isn’t the only casualty of the crisis facing Nusr-Et. Its famous gold-leaf wrapped steaks may also have to go, as Bae looks to tighten his belt. “He has been looking into replacing the gold with cryptocurrency QR codes,” said the source. “But Bitcoin is too expensive so he might have to wrap his tomahawks in Dogecoin.” 

The rumours of Salt Bae’s salt shortage have shocked high-end restaurant goers and celebrities around the world. Meanwhile, industry insiders said the crisis could be a well-seasoned publicity stunt, and that diners should take it with a large pinch of whatever condiment they can currently afford. 

Did we get you? Happy April Fool's Day.